1. “I laid on my roommate’s bed, convinced I was salami.”
“I ate too much of a cupcake and thought I was in a deli case. I laid on my roommate’s bed, convinced I was salami, and waited for someone to come buy me.”
2. “I watched a documentary about cheese on repeat for hours.”
“I watched a documentary about cheese on repeat for four hours, then cried in my closet.”
3. “I thought that my legs had turned into bacon.”
“I once ate a two month old brownie on a date. I ended up getting so high I cried hysterically for over an hour because I thought that my legs had turned into bacon and that I’d never be able to walk again.”
4. “A Japanese waiter carried me to my car.”
“I started crying at a restaurant because I was sure everybody knew I was high and refused to leave until a Japanese waiter carried me to my car.”
5. “We had to sit outside four hours before help came and I literally didn’t give a shit because I was so high!”
“I visited Amsterdam twice while studying abroad. The second time I went, my friends and I rented an Airbnb apartment. One morning, I slept in while my two friends went to the Van Gogh Museum. I ate a space cake while waiting for them to come back and got really high. I accidentally locked everyone out of the apartment while letting them into the building. We had to sit outside four hours before help came and I literally didn’t give a shit because I was so high!”
6. “I took my pants off at the TSA checkpoint at the San Diego airport.”
“I took my pants off at the TSA checkpoint at the San Diego airport. My friend gave me an edible Jolly Rancher Candy the night before, and I just put them in my purse. When I got to the airport I realized I still had them in my purse, and I was paranoid of drug sniffin’ pups. So I ate them in line. One watermelon and one green apple.
Cut to 20 minutes later, still in the TSA line and STONED AS FUCK! The nice gentleman asked me to remove my belt and shoes. I was just going with the motions and removed my shoes, unbuckled my pants and pulled them off. I asked him what he wanted me to do with them, and he said, ‘I want you to put them back on.’ I was fairly certain I was going to jail. But then he just winked at me and said, ‘happens all the time, ma’am.’ Yea right!”
7. “The last thing I remember is buying gumbo, throwing up outside of a strip club called ‘Topless Bottomless’ and wearing a novelty cowboy hat.”
“I had a bad experience with brownies in college. We were making a road trip from Tallahassee to New Orleans and decided to bake a batch of brownies for the ride.
I was so effed up after eating two that I forgot they had pot in them and ate a third one!
Mind you, we still hadn’t even stepped foot on Bourbon Street and were already higher than bat shit. The last thing I remember is buying gumbo, throwing up outside of a strip club called ‘Topless Bottomless’ and wearing a novelty cowboy hat. The end.”
8. “The brownies were stronger than I had anticipated, obviously, but then I found some Chipotle and calmed down.”
“One night my boyfriend and I bought two brownies from a guy he kinda knew. They were tiny so he gave us an extra and told us to split it if the others didn’t kick in. Instead, we split it immediately and 30 minutes later, while we were watching The Emperor’s New Groove, I felt it kick in and immediately.
I honestly couldn’t tell if I was awake or asleep and I started having a panic attack. Apparently I was walking around my boyfriend’s room and crying for about three hours while he watched nervously. The brownies were stronger than I had anticipated, obviously, but then I found some Chipotle and calmed down.”
9. “I thought my roommate’s boyfriend was Jesus Christ preparing me for the fires of hell.”
“I ate a firecracker one night while watching Fantasia 2000. The next day I woke everyone up with a shrieking scream because I thought my roommate’s boyfriend was Jesus Christ preparing me for the fires of hell.”
10. “I had to perform on a stage in Disney World higher than fuck.”
“My friend and I ate a whole brownie and got on a school bus headed to Disney World. An hour later, I guess started to get a little high and was looking through our bags for something to snack on. I found a bag of what I thought were the normal brownies we had made (I didn’t know she had brought the pot brownies on the bus), and ate the rest of them.
The next 24 hours were a blur with occasional flashes of memories that still make me cringe to this day. Oh and this was a school orchestra trip, meaning I had to perform on a stage in Disney World higher than fuck. All I remember is my stand partner saying ‘just move your arms really fast, it’ll look like you’re playing.’ After two days of being secretly (but very obviously) high on a school trip filled with parents and teachers, I finally came down and didn’t smoke again for five years.”